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Released on: Parasite Priestess (2003)


This song was largely inspired by what I've heard of conventional relationship views, i.e. the idea that what "everyone" "really" wants is happiness via the love of one other "special", "good" person, and that one should compromise/sacrifice oneself for the sake of romantic/domestic bliss with this other person. The stridency with which some people defend such a view (i.e. that this is what you "should" do with your life) is what inspired me to portray the quest for love as a religious quest on the album.


When I was little I couldn’t sleep at night
I thought the demons were coming for me
Now I obediently seek an angel to take into my life
But still shadows of broken wings remain

Now I lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord my soul to keep
But if no more I see the sun
I give my soul to the Fallen One

Holy beauty is never easy, they say:
Learn to accept the things you cannot change
Carry the stone long enough, and the friction
Of your pace will polish it until you love its burden
But they forget that you will be worn down as well
Broken down and recycled like so much waste
Our perfect facets may outshine suns
But we are so much less than we used to be

Their sacred word is compromise
But my prayer is one of indulgence
My path, they say, is choked with thorns
It can end only in solitude, or in an unclean embrace.
They glare at me and mark me as a proud whore
One’s whose punishment comes with the end of night
Still I will see if my happiness can be found
At the hands of someone other than my foretold murderer

I have bloomed, but still I cannot sleep
A wingless ultimatum hangs over me this hour:
The quest for heaven begins now in earnest
And its failure can end in but one vile embrace.
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